Kids with learning difficulties are often labeled as having a learning disability. What if we looked at them instead as having a learning difference?
Early on in our days of homeschooling, my creative, entrepreneurial, and dyslexic husband bought a boat, we moved on board with four children, and set sail for three years of travel and adventure. I often joke that my husband descended from Vikings and I do believe that that’s true! Not only does he love adventure, but he’s passed this passion on to our kids as well!
While we were traveling the high seas, we rented our house out to a young family with kids who were about our kids’ ages. Their oldest daughter went to the public school in our neighborhood. Interestingly, it turned out that their daughter had dyslexia although nobody knew it at the time. She was in 3rd grade.
What happened to that sweet 8-year-old at that elementary school is nothing short of bullying. Her teacher regularly mocked her and intentionally embarrassed her in front of the class for her inability to read, misjudging her inability as laziness or a lack of effort.
It’s not that this teacher was a horrible person. Her reaction to this bright but struggling 8-year-old was influenced by her lack of knowledge and appreciation for learning differences.
I later learned that this experience is not uncommon.
Dyslexia: A Learning Disability or a Learning Difference?
The truth is that even with a good understanding of what language-based learning difficulties like dyslexia, dysgraphia, and dyscalculia are, our educational system still looks at these bright but struggling students from a deficit point of view.
What I mean by this is that because our kids are unlike 80% of other children their ages, the focus has been on ‘fixing’ them or getting them to be more like the 80% of traditional learners in the classroom.
This is where the ideas of being behind and catching up come from.
What if we turned this thinking around? What if instead of focusing on fixing kids who are struggling with the traditional teaching methods and time tables, we changed the way we teach them to better meet their actual needs.
For example, picture this school day excerpt.
After a good night’s sleep and some time playing outside, you bring your 3rd grader in for school.
You pull out your Orton-Gillingham-based reading curriculum and your reading planner. You remember that in your last lesson, she was struggling to remember that the letter ‘y’ on the end of a short word says /eye/ (like in sky and fly) so you spend a few minutes reviewing that rule by building words with letter tiles and, because of her dysgraphia, practicing writing the words in a salt tray.
You work on the rest of your lesson and see that she is becoming frustrated and distracted. You switch gears, pull out a review game, and end the lesson before she gets overwhelmed.
An avid animal lover, your daughter runs outside to play with her rabbit. While she’s outside you grab your stack of library books on animals, rabbits, and a day in the life of a veterinarian and strew them around the living room.
When your daughter comes inside, she curls up on the couch and flips through the books, attempting to read the pages that interest her. No pressure. No rules.
You finish working on reading with her little brother and and pull out a few games to play together. You spend the next 30 minutes playing a few games that teach math, basic reading, following directions, and sportsmanship, not to mention having fun together and building your relationship with your kids.
After a simple lunch, you sit on the couch to listen to the latest audio book together. One kid pulls out art supplies and draws while listening, the other is building (not so quietly, but oh well) with Legos as they listen.
Reading aloud naturally teaches the kids concepts of grammar, rich vocabulary, geography, history, and character lessons.
You ask each child to tell you about their favorite part of the story. Your youngest is fascinated with the time period of the book and you make a mental note to find some educational shows and library books on the subject to fuel that interest.
Accommodating Learning Differences
On another day, you may do more reading, do a lesson in your math curriculum, or go to a co-op or class or sports practice.
But the tone of the day is on learning together. On building relationships. On pursuing interests.
Learning is a by-product of your lifestyle.
This is an example of a quote from my most recent book that I often share:
“For our children who struggle inside the box of traditional education, we have no other choice than to rethink education. Either we will continue pounding our square pegs into round holes until they break, or we will look for a system of learning that accommodate square pegs.
Marianne Sunderland, No More School: Meeting the Educational Needs of Kids with Dyslexia and Other Language-Based Learning Differences
Or more simply stated, “Kids who learn differently need to be taught differently.”
Read more about how dyslexia is less of a learning disability and more of a teaching disability.
Can this unique, individualized way of teaching possibly be enough?
After homeschooling for 27 years, I say ‘YES!’
Building relationships, individualizing learning, encouraging interests, enjoying your time together – this builds the foundation that kids need to learn and grow.
Honestly, when I started homeschooling this way, I had no idea what the end result would be. I was worried that what I was doing wasn’t enough.
As one by one my kids graduated form high school and set out into the adult world, I saw over and over again how the foundation of their learning – self-paced, individualized, with plenty of accommodations and modifications – set them up for success.
Once they found their path and what they wanted to do with their lives, they had the confidence, support, and skills to find success – a success they were uniquely created to fulfill.
If this post resonated with you, leave a comment below or better yet, share it with your friends and let’s get the conversation going.
I see it…. It sounds just right… but then the public schooled child in me pulls out the state requirements and says, “how am I going to document this?” What will it look like in high school? Is it ever too late to throw it all out and change to a lifestyle of learning? How about with kids ranging from 8-14 or wider gaps?
I’m looking forward to the rest of these articles!!!
Thank heavens we home educated..every day I am more grateful that we did.. Our daughters are now 20 and 17 and I have no doubt at all that the schooling system would have broken them each in a different way .Your description of a typical day was very similar to what we used to do. Our eldest is now art University studying a subject she loves and doing well and your youngest is doing A levels and already some professional-level projects in her chosen field alongside college studies. Our eldest daughter’s Politics teacher at College was deeply impressed by her motivation and study skills and reflected that perhaps if all students were home educated until Sixth Form many more would achieve their potential at A level (and be a delight to teach.) Thank you very much for spreading the word,
warmest regards,
Karen
Ps I forgot to mention I was a secondary chool teacher in both mainstream and special schools. People assume that that is why we were able to home educate but it is not true. Whilst my training and experience helped me with planning and with organising groups, it took me a good year to get over the top down approach in which I had been drilled and to start tuning out the expectations which were causing such damaging stress and skewed priorities in our daily routine so that we could focus on what was really important. Montessori was right; she preferred classroom assistants with no teacher training because they were not blinded by policies. I hosted home education groups over a period of some 10 years and met many parents from a variety of backgrounds. My experience is that mothers and father, provided they have basic literacy, whatever their level of formal qualifications who love being with their children and who have both the humility to know they do not know everything and the motivation to find out, make excellent educators.
It was the ones with Phds who thought they knew it all and could rely on a bought curriculum without investing in building up social networks with other families who came a cropper.
warmest regards,
Karen
This sounds very appealing and yet both my husband and I struggle with it. I wouldn’t say the way we do our day is like a public school but… I learned to teach in a progressive way, with lots of hands on and projects. I give a lot of breaks, and read alouds are always around the Lego table. And a couple years ago I added in as much game-schooling as I could. But I still feel like *I* need the structure of “now its math time, now it’s reading time, now it’s history….”. I do a lot of sitting along side or checking in with each child for each subject and I feel like I’m building relationships by my excitement over what they’re learning (because I’m always excited). Maybe I am doing it “right” for my kids….
This is exactly what I needed today! Tears of joy! Thank you! This is gonna be our BEST school year ever!
Thank heavens we home educated..every day I am more grateful that we did.. Our daughters are now 20 and 17 and I have no doubt at all that the schooling system would have broken them each in a different way .Your description of a typical day was very similar to what we used to do. Our eldest is now art University studying a subject she loves and doing well and your youngest is doing A levels and already some professional-level projects in her chosen field alongside college studies. Our eldest daughter’s Politics teacher at College was deeply impressed by her motivation and study skills and reflected that perhaps if all students were home educated until Sixth Form many more would achieve their potential at A level (and be a delight to teach.) Thank you very much for spreading the word,
warmest regards,
Karen
Thanks for sharing some of your story Karen. Sometimes, when I share how relaxed our homeschool is, I worry that people will freak out! It’s great to hear of your daughters’ success!
I’m starting to home school my dyslexic 11 y/o daughter and I am scared to death. I have taught public school for 18 years but those methods do not work for my girl. I am an old dog but I need to learn new tricks. This method looks perfect for her but tough fir me.
I hear you Jessica! Are you a part of our current book study group? The book we are reading sounds perfect for you. I’m going to post the link to sign up here.
Beyond the Box Summer Book Club Facebook Group
Invite friends to receive email updates by using this link
I needed to hear that this can be enough and that relationships and love of learning are just important too. Thank you. I am gearing up for my 9 year-old to start fourth grade.
I am the same way Rebecca. I really need to hear it over and over again!
That sounds crazy awesome! It’s out of the box, just like our dyslexic kids :). My daughter is going into the 6th grade, what does the school day look like for that?
To be completely honest, that school day looks like my daughter’s dream school day. I’m the one who isn’t used to that kind of schooling. I’m the one who thinks that school should be a strict schedule. I know my daughter would be on board 100%. I need to work on getting ME on board :D. Thank you so much for always sending emails. Your info changes lives for the better!
Thanks for your kind words Jennifer! I will post more examples of what this kind of learning looks like at different ages. And I struggle to to believe that I am doing enough. It’s hard to step outside the back sometimes.
I want our homeschooling days to be this flexible but also fall back into being task oriented. My son would rather play than ever do school, so I need more ideas like these. What Audio book series teaches concepts of grammar, vocabulary, geology, history, and character?
I am the same way Melinda. When I talk about audiobooks teaching grammar and vocabulary I’m talking about in context. That kids are being exposed to grammar and vocabulary at complex levels. Also they can learn about geography, history, and character just from the stories themselves. You can choose to research the setting or find the area on a map and study more but just even reading exposes them to the ideas.
As Heather stated, how does this look once you are past the elementary age. I have not found our homeschooling as fun or exciting as I had hoped due to the anxiety I feel with the learning “everything” and dealing with dyslexia and ADHD. I am looking forward to more on this subject. Thank you for bringing up the discussion.
Hi Kim. I will post more examples of what this kind of learning looks like in the older grades.
Hi Marianne and Friends; Any words to an old Mom (50) who would love to homeschool (again) her dyslexic son (10), and who CAN TOTALLY TEACH in this seemingly laissez faire environment (this method — it’s almost unschooling, sort of — is right up my alley!) but who CAN’T because her son is ODD and is reluctant at best and defiant on most occasions such that nothing is accomplished; all lessons, no matter how unplanned they are are sabotaged?
Look into using a time of deschooling to help him let go of the stress around learning. Here’s a post I wrote on it:
https://homeschoolingwithdyslexia.com/how-deschool-child-dyslexia/
I just found you on the Read Aloud Revival podcast. I love what you shared there about dyslexia and how you teach your dyslexic kids. I have four children and my last one is dyslexic. She’s 17 and will be a senior in the fall! She’s doing great now—I used a lot of the same things you do. I’m so glad to find someone encouraging parents with dyslexic kids. Your info is spot on from my experience. I used some Diane Craft materials when we first realized my daughter was having difficulty with reading. She regressed and was in tears one day as she told me she hated reading. So I quit teaching reading totally for several months and did a restart with All About Reading/Spelling. She was 9. Her skills improved tremendously! It was slow going, but she was learning. I wish I had had your insight back then. Keep up the good work!
Thank you Sydni!
Most smart struggling students learn differently and are a visual learner. When teaching our students at 3D Learner, that is how we define them. If a child is in a public or charter school, it is necessary to have them diagnosed with a disability to get services. For a home school student, a parent has the luxury of focusing on their child’s strengths, while addressing their challenges without a negative label.
Wonderful ideas!! I need this source of encouragement. Thank you so much!!! My daughter is now 10 and reads on a first-grade spring level. Math is on a 1st-grade spring level too. We are using The Charlotte Mason Elementary Arithmetic and Saxon math along with some math games from Thinking Tree books. I cannot use just one curriculum for my daughter. We do a lot of read alouds and have an audiobook subscription with Learning Ally. She loves to cook so we do a lot of cooking together. I let her fix her special snacks which makes her feel like she can do something. It is a lot of work, but worth it!!!
Great ideas that are not entirely new to me, but nevertheless great to be reminded. Homeschooling a child with special/different needs is like a rollercoaster with a lot of ups and downs. We currently going through a though time, and I realized that we have gone somewhat away from the free flowing learning approach to more structured classroom approaches – time to shake up the program to make it more fun, and bring more laughter into our lives… Thanks for the reminder!
A proud dad of an incredibly talented 12 year old daughter with BRE and speech dyspraxia syndrome
A teacher’s incompetence does not give her the right to blame the student. It is unacceptable. I realize that’s not the message of the post, but I still can’t contain my emotions.
Dyslexia is clearly a learning difference, not a learning disability. That’s how I perceive it. Even to a child without dyslexia, teachers are responsible for finding an individualized approach. Children are all unique and one curriculum cannot work for all of them.