After more than 30 years of homeschooling children with dyslexia and ADHD, here are five important lessons I've learned about creating an individualized education that meets our kids' real learning needs.
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I talk to parents every week in my online mentoring group and one-on-one consultations. It's common for parents of struggling learners to battle constant, nagging feelings of not doing enough, being behind, or not giving their kids a good education.
Teaching reading and spelling and trying to squeeze in a little writing, especially when you have more than one child with learning differences, can take the majority of your energy and time each homeschool day.
It can begin to feel like other subjects are falling through the cracks or like you never get around to doing the "fun stuff."
I struggled with this pretty consistently over my 30-plus years of homeschooling my seven kids with learning differences.
I wrestled with the pros and cons of putting them in school, thinking that perhaps there they could get a "real" education.
But I knew from experience that, for my kids, this would just be trading one set of struggles for another.
And so, I pressed on.
Fast forward to today. I've graduated six of those seven smart but struggling learners, and I've learned something pretty powerful:
Using traditional teaching and learning methods and meeting traditional benchmarks or timelines wasn't nearly as important as I thought it was.
I quite literally had no option but to do the best I could, allowing my younger kids to play while focusing on supporting my older kids' learning weaknesses.
I learned how to gradually teach those older kids to use supports like speech-to-text, audiobooks, and video-based courses. I allowed alternative ways of showing what they were learning so that real learning could happen.
Was it more like a three-ring circus than a schoolroom?
Yes, it was! But in the end, it worked.
The result of my circus-style school? Kids who grew up confident and curious, who were able to take the skills and knowledge they gained from our nontraditional homeschool into the real world and find success.
And just as our homeschool years were nontraditional, my adult kids' careers have also been somewhat nontraditional: entrepreneurship, trades, and yes, successful college experiences as well.
Today, I have a unique vantage point from which to look back at my homeschool years and see what was helpful and what wasn't.
Here are five things I wish I'd understood sooner about homeschooling kids with dyslexia and other learning differences, so I could have been more confident about giving my kids an education that fit their real learning needs.
And so I wouldn't have spent so much time and energy striving to meet traditional educational benchmarks that work for some kids but fail others.
1. Focus on What Matters Most
Those years of limited time and energy taught me how to radically prioritize what I did with the time and energy I had each day.
I learned how to let go of nonessentials, and I saw that pay off really well over the years.
Here's what I wish I had known about prioritizing learning at different ages.
Elementary Ages: Focus on the Foundations
In the elementary years, it's okay to focus primarily on reading and math.
Using research-based curriculum consistently, even for short periods of time as many days as possible, can provide a strong foundation.
Reading good books aloud introduces history, literature, language, and so much more.
Hands-on science, or having younger children listen to their older siblings' science lessons, provides wonderful opportunities for learning.
Honestly, having easy access to art supplies, open-ended toys, and, of course, siblings can provide rich learning experiences.
Our family watched a lot of educational television in the evenings. Everything from history and science to biographies and just plain fun series as a family.
My kids were learning, and thriving, even though it looked different from my own education.
Middle School: Fill in Gaps and Build Independence
Middle school can feel a lot like walking on water at times!
It's not uncommon to have kids in middle school who still struggle with reading fluently and writing.
However, by middle school, many kids with dyslexia begin to make more steady progress with their reading.
All those years of reading aloud great books, exposing them to rich vocabulary, writing styles, and interesting plots, along with consistent research-based reading instruction and appropriate accommodations, have helped them develop a strong foundation in language and learning.
Middle school is also a time of significant brain development. In my experience, some children begin making noticeable gains during these years, although continued effective instruction and support are still important.
During middle school, I try to finish up as much needed remediation as possible while steadily increasing accommodations and independence.
Learn more about the best homeschool accommodations for dyslexia and ADHD.
Accommodations remove barriers to learning so our kids can learn as independently as possible at their intellectual level.
I've had children who wrote only sentences and paragraphs through much of elementary and middle school and then learned to write a five-paragraph essay during eighth grade. They continued improving their writing skills throughout high school.
Middle school is a time for filling in gaps, building confidence, and teaching kids to use the supports they need to become more independent.
High School: Prepare for Their Future
Kids can vary a lot in high school as well.
Many of my kids were anxious to finish school and get into the real world. Several graduated early and started internships or trade schools.
I've also worked with plenty of families whose kids were college-bound and used high school as a time to really focus on academics. This included hiring tutors, allowing an extra year of high school, or taking a gap year to meet their goals.
The key, from my perspective, is to take time to help your child discover where their interests and abilities lie.
As soon as my high schoolers and young adults honed in on what they were really excited about doing for a career, they became internally motivated and pushed themselves to succeed.
Sounds like a dream, right?
It's TRUE!
The goal of homeschooling isn't simply to finish curriculum. It's to prepare our children for meaningful, capable, independent adult lives.
Need Help Choosing the Right Learning Priorities?
If you're struggling to identify what matters most for your child, I have several resources that can help.
The Plan walks you step by step through creating an individualized education plan based on your child's real learning needs. You'll learn what to prioritize, how to choose and adapt curriculum, and how to build a manageable homeschool routine.
The Homeschool Roadmap for Struggling Learners takes a broader look at homeschooling children with dyslexia and ADHD, from understanding their unique learning needs and choosing effective teaching methods to supporting resistant learners, building independence, and preparing for long-term success.
And if you're navigating the transition into the upper grades, my Middle School Success Master Class and High School Success Master Class provide age-specific guidance for making these important educational decisions.
2. Give Them the Support They Need
One thing that can be particularly stressful for parents homeschooling kids with dyslexia is that we can see how smart they are, yet because they're unable to read and write fluently or work independently, they aren't always able to engage with learning efficiently.
We know they're capable of learning, but the gates to learning seem locked at times.
Part of this problem is solved by prioritizing what our kids really need to know at each age, as I discussed in the previous section.
Focusing on foundational skills is okay if that's what they need. It's actually one of the biggest benefits of homeschooling!
Another big part of this puzzle is offering support in the form of accommodations and modifications.
If we can let go of the idea that traditional school methods are the only or best way to educate children, and instead focus on giving our kids the education they need, accommodations and modifications become welcome friends.
What Are Accommodations and Modifications?
Accommodations and modifications are two important ways to adapt learning to meet your child's individual needs.
Both can reduce frustration, build confidence, and make learning more accessible for kids who learn differently.
The key difference is that accommodations change how a child learns or demonstrates what they know, while modifications change what a child is expected to learn or accomplish.
Understanding when and how to use each can make a big difference in your homeschool.
Helpful Accommodations for Dyslexia and ADHD
Accommodations are tools or supports that remove obstacles to learning.
Think of audiobooks. Many kids with dyslexia absolutely devour books by ear!
Think of assistive technologies like speech-to-text, which converts spoken words into text, or text-to-speech, which reads written words aloud.
Or spelling and grammar checkers that help clean up our kids' writing.
Other helpful accommodations include:
- Strategic use of calculators
- Math fact sheets and reference sheets
- Reducing copying or handwriting demands
- Breaking assignments into smaller steps
- Using visual schedules, checklists, and written instructions
- Providing flexible learning times, breaks, and pacing
These accommodations allow our children to access interesting, age-appropriate learning while they continue developing weaker skills.
Helpful Curriculum Modifications
Modifications, on the other hand, change what a child is expected to learn, how much work they must complete, or the level of difficulty required.
Unlike accommodations, which help students access the same learning expectations in different ways, modifications adjust those expectations to better match a child's current abilities and needs.
Examples of helpful modifications for homeschoolers include:
- Reducing the number of problems or assignments, especially when additional practice isn't needed
- Adjusting the difficulty level to match the child's ability
- Shortening writing assignments
- Modifying spelling and writing expectations
- Simplifying complex assignments
- Adjusting testing and assessment expectations
- Changing an assignment's requirements so children can demonstrate essential knowledge without unnecessary reading or writing demands
One of the greatest advantages of homeschooling is the freedom to adapt learning expectations to a child's actual needs.
For some children with learning differences, trying to complete every lesson, worksheet, assignment, and assessment in a traditional curriculum can lead to burnout, resistance, and discouragement.
Honestly, this goes for both the student and the parent!
Modifications help parents make intentional decisions about what matters most.
Rather than measuring success by how much curriculum gets completed, parents can focus on whether their child is developing essential skills, building confidence, and making meaningful progress.
The goal isn't to lower expectations unnecessarily. It's to establish realistic, meaningful expectations that allow children to experience success and continue growing.
Learning to make these adjustments is one of the most freeing parts of homeschooling children who learn differently.
In my online course The Plan, I teach parents how to choose curriculum based on their child's needs and adapt it without sacrificing meaningful learning.
The course also includes practical guides to accommodations, modifications, and assistive technology that you can refer to as your child's needs change.
3. Learn to Look for the Reason Behind Resistance
Another unique challenge for families homeschooling kids with learning differences is when prolonged learning struggles cause children to develop negative attitudes about learning or their ability to learn.
Our kids might be avid LEGO builders, creative artists, or come alive with curious, imaginative play.
But when it comes to academics, they resist.
They may procrastinate, complain, argue, shut down, or even refuse to begin schoolwork.
It can be hard to know whether this resistance is caused by a discipline issue, whether our kids need to learn to handle more responsibility, or whether something else is happening beneath the surface.
One thing I've learned over the years with my own kids and through working with thousands of other families is that:
Resistance is information. It tells us something isn't working, even if we don't yet understand why.
In my experience, most kids want to do well. They want to please their parents. They want to feel successful.
But something is hindering that in kids who resist learning.
I recently shared the story of a homeschool mom who eventually chose a period of deschooling with her highly resistant daughter.
She allowed her daughter to follow her interests, take a break from formal reading and math instruction, and spend time learning more organically through read-alouds, field trips, and hands-on projects.
Her daughter, who had once been highly resistant, gradually returned to academics over time.
She still complains from time to time, but she has learned that when she needs time or a break, she can ask for one.
Her mom has seen her become calmer and more regulated, and learning is happening again.
This doesn't mean that taking a break from academic instruction is appropriate for every child. But for this family, stepping back and reconsidering the daughter's needs helped them find a better way forward.
When Your Child Resists Learning
If resistance has become one of the biggest struggles in your homeschool, my Resistant Learner Intensive was created to help you understand what's happening beneath the surface.
We explore how learning differences, executive function weaknesses, anxiety, overwhelm, and other challenges can contribute to resistance.
More importantly, you'll learn practical ways to adjust expectations, reduce unnecessary power struggles, and create an environment where your child feels more capable and willing to learn.
4. Understand the Unique Learning Needs of Kids With ADHD and Executive Function Weaknesses
Before you skip this section because you assume your kids don't have ADHD, consider these two important things:
- ADHD commonly occurs alongside dyslexia. Many children have both learning differences.
- Not all children with ADHD exhibit hyperactive behavior. Some primarily struggle with inattention and executive functioning.
Several of my kids had unrecognized inattentive ADHD growing up.
I went for years not understanding that my easygoing, compliant children were struggling so much with focus and other executive function skills.
Honestly, this is probably one of my biggest regrets from our homeschooling years.
I really wish I'd understood ADHD and executive function weaknesses sooner so I could have supported my kids with more understanding and more targeted strategies.
But I also have to recognize that I was doing the best I could with what I knew at the time.
This blog is one way I can help other parents learn some of these things earlier than I did!
The truth is that some of our kids understand their lessons and are perfectly capable of learning the material, but struggle immensely to organize themselves well enough to complete their work.
This is frequently interpreted as irresponsibility, lack of motivation, or laziness.
Executive function weaknesses can make planning, starting, remembering, and finishing assignments genuinely difficult.
Signs of Executive Function Weaknesses
You might be seeing:
- A child who repeatedly forgets what they're supposed to be doing
- A child who takes 20 minutes just to start a math lesson
- A child who loses materials or forgets instructions halfway through an assignment
- A student who becomes overwhelmed when given a list of tasks
- A child who can concentrate for hours on a favorite activity but struggles to focus on schoolwork
- A child who needs a parent sitting nearby to stay on task
The truth is that executive function skills develop over time, and some kids need those skills supported externally while they're still developing.
Rather than repeatedly reminding our kids to concentrate, get organized, or work independently, we can create structures that make those tasks easier.
It's a lot like teaching reading.
Kids with dyslexia benefit from explicit, systematic, step-by-step reading instruction with plenty of practice.
Executive function skills can also be supported through direct teaching, modeling, external tools, and repeated practice.
Over time, some of these strategies become more familiar and automatic, although children with ADHD may continue needing supports as they grow.
Supporting your child's executive function development is one of the most important things you can do because these skills affect so many areas of learning and everyday life.
More Help With ADHD and Executive Function
This is exactly why I created my ADHD Intensive.
This self-paced course helps parents understand how ADHD and executive function weaknesses affect learning, behavior, motivation, and independence, along with ways to support our kids more effectively.
You'll learn practical strategies for helping children manage attention, begin and complete assignments, develop organization skills, and become more independent.
The course also includes my Executive Function Master Class on Teaching Organization, full of strategies I've used in my own homeschool.
5. Step Fully Outside the Box of Traditional Education
This is kind of an unfair recommendation since I myself haven't been completely successful at it, even after more than 30 years of homeschooling my outside-the-box kids with learning differences!
Isn't it interesting how much our own educational experiences impact our beliefs about education?
Even when we know that the things I've talked about today are right for our kids, things like:
- Teaching kids at their level
- Prioritizing what matters most
- Offering supports and accommodations
- Being open to nontraditional teaching methods
- Taking time out of our busy schedules to teach our kids the skills they need to be successful in life
We still struggle with thoughts like:
- Maybe we're not doing enough.
- Maybe we're damaging our kids.
- Maybe our kids will always struggle, and it will be our fault.
That makes jumping back inside the box of traditional education feel like a safe place to be.
Believe me, I know.
I've jumped in and out of that box hundreds of times on my homeschool journey!
The truth is that nobody knows or cares for your child quite like you do, and that knowledge is one of your greatest strengths as a homeschool parent.
Even if you choose to hire tutors or specialists to help you, you bring an understanding of your child's interests, personality, strengths, struggles, and daily needs that is incredibly valuable.
There will always be people who look at your methods of teaching your kids with doubt.
Remember, they may be operating under the same beliefs you've struggled with yourself, namely that traditional forms of education, as we know them today, are the only or best way to educate a child.
But nontraditional forms of education, especially when they're thoughtfully tailored around the individual needs of our unique learners, can be exactly what our children need.
I know many of you receive feedback from concerned family members, friends, or perhaps even your spouse.
This is one reason why finding community is so important.
In my online monthly mentoring group, we share wins of the week that might not sound like wins to other people.
Things like:
"My 10-year-old picked up a book and actually read it for pleasure!"
Or:
"My resistant child likes our new science program!"
Or even:
"We took a break from reading for two weeks, and now my child is relaxed and learning again."
These are meaningful victories!
Even though our kids' learning looks different and they reach learning benchmarks on different timelines, they are learning.
In my experience, and from what I've seen in my own children and the families I've worked with, protecting our children's confidence and curiosity is incredibly important.
When we help them understand their strengths, develop their abilities, learn to use assistive technology, and advocate for themselves, we're preparing them to pursue meaningful lives as adults.
I've seen this over and over again with my own children and with the families I work with.
So when you're tempted to think that kids in traditional schools are getting a better education than your kids, take a step back and remember:
Every child is different.
Providing a unique, individualized education that meets your child's real learning needs, helps them feel smart and successful, and gives them the tools and supports they need to learn is a powerful way to prepare them for the future.
Even when progress is slower than expected.
Even when the curriculum looks different.
Even when your homeschool looks nothing like the traditional classroom you grew up in.
Your child doesn't need an education that looks like everyone else's.
Your child needs an education that works for them.
Want Help Putting These Ideas Into Practice?
Everything I've shared in this post comes from years of homeschooling my own children with learning differences and helping other families find ways to teach their kids more effectively.
I've taken what I've learned, combined it with research-based information about dyslexia, ADHD, and other learning differences, and created online courses to help you understand your child's unique needs and make practical changes in your homeschool.
Not sure where to start? Here are a few options.
Need Help Creating an Individualized Homeschool Plan?
The Plan will help you identify your child's most important learning needs, choose and adapt curriculum, and develop a realistic routine for your family.
Want a Bigger-Picture Understanding of Homeschooling a Struggling Learner?
The Homeschool Roadmap for Struggling Learners provides six modules of guidance on learning differences, effective teaching strategies, routines, resistance, and preparing children for long-term success.
Dealing With Constant Resistance to Schoolwork?
My Resistant Learner Intensive helps you understand what may be behind your child's resistance and how to make thoughtful changes that reduce frustration and encourage cooperation.
Struggling With ADHD, Attention, or Executive Functioning?
My ADHD Intensive teaches practical strategies for helping kids with attention, organization, task initiation, and developing independence.
Navigating Middle School or High School?
My Middle School Success Master Class and High School Success Master Class provide age-specific guidance for choosing priorities, building independence, and preparing your child for the next stage of life.
Need Help With a Particular Learning Challenge?
My original Parent Education classes cover dyslexia, reading, spelling, writing, math, working memory, processing differences, and executive function skills.
Each combines research-based information with practical teaching guidance from my decades of homeschooling experience.
Dyslexia Awareness Month Sale: Final Week!
In honor of Dyslexia Awareness Month, I'm offering some of my biggest discounts of the year!
All 11 original Parent Education classes are 50% off, and my newer courses, intensives, and master classes are also discounted.
Every course is online, video-based, and self-paced, with immediate access and unlimited opportunities to revisit the material.
You don't have to learn everything at once.
Sometimes understanding one challenge and making one change can make a meaningful difference in your homeschool.
Sale ends Sunday, November 1, 2026. No coupon code needed!
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